The Digital Dad

Click on over to the MSU Wi-Fi Locations page and check out the Google Map I’m putting together to list all of the buildings on campus with wireless internet coverage. It’s part of a larger overall project involving Wi-Fi locationing similar to GPS, but for now it will help new students and guests find places with Wi-Fi access on MSU’s campus. From there you can link to the full version on Google Maps. Take a peek, let me know what you think.

So yesterday while in class I was robbed. Someone stole my brand new Columbia winter jacket from the table right next to me. I’d gotten hot and taken it off, placing it within arm’s reach. I mean, like a foot and a half away. When I got up to leave, my jacket was gone. Some stole my jacket… 3 feet away… during math class!
[insert first round of mental expletives]
So that sucked. Then I remembered my iPod touch was in the breast pocket of said jacket.
[insert second round of mental expletives, many of these audible to nearby civilians]
This was rapidly turning out to be a bad day. Then I walked back to my office in the freezing rain in my short-sleeved polo shirt.
[insert third round of out-loud, pseudo-intelligible random expletives, cursing the very nature of such a dirty rotten scoundrel to any available passersby]
So now I’m cold, wet, hungry, and sans $300 mp3 player! I swear a Klingon blood oath of vengeance upon his soul, and get to work.

Here’s where had this been an action movie the next 30 minutes of work would be pieced together into a 60-second montage, complete with Nine Inch Nails soundtrack in the background. I’ll give you the short version:

The iPod touch is more than just a simple mp3 player. It’s got a wifi connection and a browser built-in. [This being, to me, its main utility.] Any time you turn on the device, it automatically tries to find a wireless network and join it. If you’ve ever joined the network before, it won’t even notify you it’s doing so. [he he he]

Notice to criminals: If you’re going to steal a wireless capable device, don’t steal it from the manager of the wireless network.

To make a long story short I used the campus wireless network to track down the exact location of my jacket and iPod. I had it send SMS messages to my cell phone, updating me on its current position. Police officers made an arrest last night and first thing this AM I got my cheese back. Don’t mess with a network ninja. That, my friends, is weak sauce. Weak sauce!

This morning I get a call from the Detective involved with the case. “We just received a report of a laptop stolen on campus. Think you could do that again?”

[fade in theme music]

Addendum: A co-worker came up with the perfect analogy for this occurrence. “Hey, how about I steal this huge homing beacon and take it back with me to my secret lair? What’s that beeping sound?”

Network ninja out.

Looks like the Fall 2007 semester has come to a close for this happy camper. And thanks to a bit of last-minute crammage and drudgery, outlooks are good for pulling down a 4.0. That’s right, boys and girls: Dean’s List. Breaking news you heard here first. Film at 11.

Apparently not very far. I’ve just returned home from the 11th annual Phreaknic “Hacker” conference in Nashville and I’m wanting the last 2 days of my life back. I was convinced to go by some friends and co-workers who went last year. While they admitted it was a geekfest, they touted the presenters and topics covered as very interesting, well-detailed, though-provoking type security stuff. That was last year.

I’m not certain what transpired in the organizational hierarchy between cons X and XI, but quality control was certainly affected. The majority of the presenters were so drunk during their presentations that they couldn’t form sentences more complex than “hehe” and “kewl.” Several presenters either lost or forgot their presentation materials while one gentleman openly admitted during his pres that he had planned on “putting it all together last night” but that he found himself to drunk at the time to do so.

While I understand that with a “hacker” convention there goes a modicum of the “hacker” mentality; “We have to buck the mainstream. We don’t do things like other conventions. We do vodka shots off the presenters’ table while we’re switching to our next slide;” this was just all-out bad. Now there were a few presentations, such as the one on testing the limits of the Postal Service’s automation systems, that were absolutely astounding. The presenters had done their research, were something of an expert in their field, and had taken the time to compile and rehearse (FYI, an important step towards a successful presentation) a thought-provoking, intelligent discussion. Then there was the Wi-Fi guy. OMGLOLBBQ! I wanted to walk up to him during his spiel and slap him square across the face. Seriously dude, don’t give that speech again to anyone, anywhere, EVER! Capice?

All in all it was a horrendous experience. But it only cost me $20 and half a hotel room, so at least it was a cheap horrendous experience. And I did get to spend some quality time with the next generation of Murray State’s TSM students. Although, do you remember how cool the original G.I.Joe cartoon was, and then when they tried that whole “next generation” type thing it was never quite the same? It was always just a little bit of a toolbox. Make your own parallel.

For any of you still wondering, I made it back safely from Dallas. It was a great week chock full of tasty bits of learning. Now I have to simply apply all that knowledge to our specific network infrastructure. Did I say simply? Hmmm.

The board’s pretty full the next few weeks. With a new dorm coming online with full wireless coverage, a wireless management system needing to be configured, a TSM lab that’s waiting for me to finish writing it, the Curris Center needing a complete wireless re-survey and new APs installed, and redundant backbone wireless links waiting to be installed on the roofs of 5 buildings: all needing to be completed before school starts in a week and a half. Oh, and next week I’m in California… ALL WEEK!

So I pretty much have 2 days to get every bit of that completed before I head out west. What’s that you say? Liam has a high fever and can’t go to daycare today? I have to stay home from work and take care of him? Scratch that, 1 day. And that’s a Friday. Greaaaaaaat.

Oh yeah, and I promised the wife last night that I’d start leaving my work at work: laptop, gear and all. Why do I think that’s gonna end up biting me in the rump?