Apparently not very far. I’ve just returned home from the 11th annual Phreaknic “Hacker” conference in Nashville and I’m wanting the last 2 days of my life back. I was convinced to go by some friends and co-workers who went last year. While they admitted it was a geekfest, they touted the presenters and topics covered as very interesting, well-detailed, though-provoking type security stuff. That was last year.

I’m not certain what transpired in the organizational hierarchy between cons X and XI, but quality control was certainly affected. The majority of the presenters were so drunk during their presentations that they couldn’t form sentences more complex than “hehe” and “kewl.” Several presenters either lost or forgot their presentation materials while one gentleman openly admitted during his pres that he had planned on “putting it all together last night” but that he found himself to drunk at the time to do so.

While I understand that with a “hacker” convention there goes a modicum of the “hacker” mentality; “We have to buck the mainstream. We don’t do things like other conventions. We do vodka shots off the presenters’ table while we’re switching to our next slide;” this was just all-out bad. Now there were a few presentations, such as the one on testing the limits of the Postal Service’s automation systems, that were absolutely astounding. The presenters had done their research, were something of an expert in their field, and had taken the time to compile and rehearse (FYI, an important step towards a successful presentation) a thought-provoking, intelligent discussion. Then there was the Wi-Fi guy. OMGLOLBBQ! I wanted to walk up to him during his spiel and slap him square across the face. Seriously dude, don’t give that speech again to anyone, anywhere, EVER! Capice?

All in all it was a horrendous experience. But it only cost me $20 and half a hotel room, so at least it was a cheap horrendous experience. And I did get to spend some quality time with the next generation of Murray State’s TSM students. Although, do you remember how cool the original G.I.Joe cartoon was, and then when they tried that whole “next generation” type thing it was never quite the same? It was always just a little bit of a toolbox. Make your own parallel.